This is a translation of the The Spanair Flying Handbook. It may shed some insight as to why their "air-to-ground ratio" (i.e. crash rate) is so high. SPANAIR FLYING HANDBOOK:
GUIDELINES FOR PILOT:
1. Difference between take-off and landing is, take-off is optional.
2. Once airborne, try to keep pointy end going forward as much as possible.
3. If you push stick forward, houses get bigger. If you pull stick back, houses get smaller. If you keep pulling stick back, houses get bigger again.
4. Only time you have too much fuel is when airplane on fire.
5. Do not fly in clouds. They sometimes contain mountains.
6. Strive to make landings equal to number of take-offs.
7. Landing is good if you can walk away. Landing much better if airplane can be used again.
8. If it takes full power to taxi to ramp, you have landed with wheels up.
GUIDELINES FOR STEWARDESS:
1. Flying not very dangerous. Crashing is more dangerous.
2. Propeller is just big fan in front of plane to keep pilot cool. When it stops, you will see pilot starting to sweat.
3. If all you see through window is ground going round and round, and you hear big commotion from passenger compartment, things are not as they should be.
:lol
GUIDELINES FOR PILOT:
1. Difference between take-off and landing is, take-off is optional.
2. Once airborne, try to keep pointy end going forward as much as possible.
3. If you push stick forward, houses get bigger. If you pull stick back, houses get smaller. If you keep pulling stick back, houses get bigger again.
4. Only time you have too much fuel is when airplane on fire.
5. Do not fly in clouds. They sometimes contain mountains.
6. Strive to make landings equal to number of take-offs.
7. Landing is good if you can walk away. Landing much better if airplane can be used again.
8. If it takes full power to taxi to ramp, you have landed with wheels up.
GUIDELINES FOR STEWARDESS:
1. Flying not very dangerous. Crashing is more dangerous.
2. Propeller is just big fan in front of plane to keep pilot cool. When it stops, you will see pilot starting to sweat.
3. If all you see through window is ground going round and round, and you hear big commotion from passenger compartment, things are not as they should be.
:lol
